Puanbesar

Public Enemy

2006-10-17T09:22:00.000+08:00

We got to fight the powers that be
Lemme hear you say
Fight the power

Anna Politkovskaya

2006-10-09T09:02:00.000+08:00

Murdered, Saturday 7 October 2006.

B52s Love Shack

2006-10-06T11:01:00.000+08:00

Today is a B52s day.
The last 2 days have been productive and happy:
I managed(at last) to put links onto this page
I added all the pics I wanted - the mouse on the PC is acting up and if I blog on my Mac I can't add any pictures as I don't have photoshop, I also don't have a scanner as it blew up in a storm a while ago
Greta Garbo has had her stitches out and can now have a bath - she is one seriously smelly little dog
I booked my appointment with the dietician(I have been avoiding doing this for weeks)
I have finished my antibiotics
I am still not smoking (4 days may not seem long but for me it's a major achievement)
I have caught up with all my friends
I am having lunch with Nicky in a couple of hours - our precious Friday ritual
I found a really cool music shop yesterday and picked up a CD of Joy Division covers for my hubby + Bauhaus, B52s and Dandy Warhols CDs for me
I am not coughing or wheezing anymore
My potentially difficult meeting with a teacher went really well
I have gold fingernails and toenails - new OPI as recommended by the wonderful Ms.Kiew

Can't see me

2006-10-04T09:15:00.000+08:00

Ian Brown.
Have given up smoking and am feeling thoroughly wierded out. Hopefully this is the last time.

Books

2006-10-02T09:53:00.000+08:00

Last night I watched Kingdom of Heaven. I was about to go to bed when my husband started channel surfing and came across it. Despite having seen it before and owning the DVD we sat there til after midnight discussing the crusades, history in general and Ridley Scott films. Ridley is my favourite director, Black Hawk Down is my second favourite film (the first being Apocalypse Now) and he is English, Northern English in fact.
I love history, particularly Dark and Middle Ages European history. I studied medieval history, language, Arthurian literature and the crusades as part of my French degree. I have lots of books on all the aforementioned topics.
Herein lies my problem. My living room Indonesian table is the home of the books I am currently reading or about to start - Collapse by Jared Diamond, 2 books on Genghis Kahn, one on Kublai Kahn and Joseph Stiglitz's Globalization and its discontents. There are also 3 books on New Zealand, where we are going in December, and some Amnesty papers on Burma. Once the table is clear I can move onto the other coffee table, near the bookcases, which is also full of books waiting to be read - bios of Jimi Hendrix, The Clash, Ian Curtis, A Basque History of the World, short stories by Malaysian writers etc... My mission is to clear both tables. This is never going to happen. The pile on the Indonesian table keeps expanding thus I never get near the Indian one. Last night's viewing prompted the removal of Piers Paul Reid's The Templars and Jonathan Phillips's The Crusades from their homes in the bookcase. This relocation was preceeded yesterday afternoon by a conversation with my middle son about his English curriculum which prompted the addition of The Odyssey and The Aeneid to the stack. It is a vicious circle. Amaranta Buendia, weaving her shroud in One Hundred Years Of Solitude (my favourite book), destined to die on the day it is completed. Cysifus. I doubt I will die when the table is clear, I doubt it ever will be.

The Ramones

2006-10-02T09:33:00.000+08:00

Blitzkrieg Pop
Loved by my youngest son, my cats and I.
Sunday morning, drinking coffee, feet on the kitchen table, sun shining, no appointments, base station on full blast playing my ipod top rated songs, my kitchen devoid of cats.
Nirvana, Portishead and Primal Scream came and went but as soon as this song came on all the cats came in.

Q

2006-10-02T08:51:00.000+08:00

As I am not feeling belligerent today I will not rail against the nonsense that is Q's 100 greatest songs ever as voted by readers. To start the week off in a positive way I am accepting that tastes differ and perhaps people are entitled to their own opinions... The Brits voted as follows:
1. Live Forever - Oasis
2. Wonderwall - Oasis
3. Smells Like Teen Spirit - Nirvana
4. A Day In The Life - The Beatles
5. One - U2
6. Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen
7. Love Will Tear Us Apart - Joy Division
8. Stairway To Heaven - Led Zeppelin
9. Bittersweet Symphony - The Verve
10. Paranoid Android - Radiohead
I have subscribed to Q since it first came out despite it's obsession with REM, U2 and Radiohead. I can't abide REM, with the exception of Orange Crush, U2 are not my thing either and whilst I will admit to liking the odd Radiohead song( Creep, Karma Police, Paranoid Android), I just don't get what all the fuss is about. Same with Coldplay. So, no Echo and The Bunnymen in the top 100, no Ramones, only 1 Prince song, no Buzzcocks, no Happy Mondays ...
Wonderwall, Smells Like Teen Spirit and maybe Love Will Tear Us Apart, as Joy Division( along with The Clash) are my husband's favourite band, deserve to be there. If Bohemian Rhaspody and Stairway are there for their Wayne's World value they can stay too. Bittersweet Symphony has a cool video + they have the added advantage of being Northern so on that basis that too could possibly remain but I can find nothing to redeem the inclusion of nos. 4, 5 and 10.
As for no.1 - I hate that song.

My 10

2006-09-29T08:52:00.000+08:00

Lithium - Nirvana
Heart Shaped Box - Nirvana
Straight Outta Compton - NWA
Columbia - Oasis
Head Like a Hole - Nine Inch Nails
Love Spreads - The Stone Roses
Spellbound - Siouxsie and The Banshees
Bela Lugosi's Dead - Bauhaus
Whole Lotta Rosie - AC/DC
Pretty Vacant - The Sex Pistols
My 10 favourite songs today, in no particular order.
This months Q contains a list of the 100 Greatest Songs Ever as voted by readers.
My throat infection and I are going back to bed now but when I resurface I will post on my disgust at the British public's lack of taste.

I Wanna Be Adored

2006-09-29T08:40:00.000+08:00

The Stone Roses - Manchester's finest.
John Squire - my favourite guitarist
No 32 in Q's 100 Greatest Songs Ever - with which I will take issue later.

Rocks

2006-09-26T10:46:00.000+08:00

Primal Scream - good for dancing round the kitchen with cats to.
Today is a two song day - the Citrine and Obsidian are doing their thing(I, according to my Reiki practitioner sister, am having problems with my base chakra and my third chakra)

Higher Ground

2006-09-26T09:01:00.000+08:00

A rediscovered song, again via Rockstar, which has made my kitchen a happy place for the last 2 mornings.

Hair

2006-09-15T12:36:00.000+08:00

Jared Leto as Hephaistion in Alexander - a great image to start my day off.
I wrote this post 10 days ago thinking I would load it that evening... the subsequent days have gone by in a blur of irritation, disappointment, aggravation and vexation. UCAS forms, teachers, music appreciation, cars, theft(middle son had his boot bag stolen at some point, somewhere by someone last Tuesday - he's a vague news kind of child - boots, goalie gloves, shin pads, footy kit all gone),music appreciation, haze, broken MP3 players, compounded by a hangover on Sunday that lasted until 9.30pm. If the last 10 days had a soundtrack it would be all Nine Inch Nails and Marilyn Manson. I will dump it all here and move on.

So, Friday 15 September was a good hair day.
I have just returned from the hairdressers. Having sinusitis and not being able to put my head down gave me the perfect excuse to head off to Bangsar Village to get my hair washed. A hair wash in Malaysia is not simply a shampoo, rinse, shampoo again, rinse again, condition, rinse again and blow dry affair - for me it is a sublime experience. It is an hour of head, neck and shoulder massaging, froth, relaxation and joy. If I were a cat I would purr throught this fabulous, Malaysian ritual - if I were a cat I would also have a long, black, glossy tail but that is part of the whole X Men discussion which has no place in this celebration of all things hair related. Though if I was an X Man I would be Wolverine. I would quite like to have wings too - Archangel Gabriel style. Digressing ... I decided it was fine to indulge in stream of consciousness rambling. Here I am omnipotent.
So, back to hair - I love hair, more specifically I love men with long hair. Not the stringy, lank Axl Rose, Kid Rock type, nor indeed the poodle Van Halen, Slash sort. More Michael Hutchence in his prime, Johnny Depp, Antonio Banderas in mariachi mode, thick, dark, luxurious type. Patrik Berger - the first Premiership player to successfully sport an alice band, sadly a Liverpool player but beautiful non the less. My 8th graders at the time brought me in a life size poster of the lovely Patrik which they taped up next my desk - my adoration overcame my loathing of all things LFC.
My boys are at an American school primarily because of their hair, coupled with the fact that I hate the British school that the older boys initially had the misfortune to attend. There was no question of TFX ever going to a British school as his hair was so long. His hair, his decision, not the business of any school. I am a fierce defender of their right to follicular freedom.
Eldest son did the whole long hair thing, had to change schools(his British school kept threatening to suspend him), then cut it all off ... he sports a Kirk Brandon do these days. Middle son aspires to Keyser Soze hair and TFX doesn't care so long as he can brush it. They have overcome the whole long hair = girls thing and are experts in the art of conditioning. Emiliano would be proud.

Billy Idol

2006-09-15T10:08:00.000+08:00

In honour of Lukas

White Wedding - Billy Idol

There is nothin' fair in this world
There is nothin' safe in this world
And there's nothin' sure in this world
And there's nothin' pure in this world
Look for something left in this world
Start again
Come on

Rockstar

2006-09-15T09:23:00.000+08:00

I cannot get on with my Friday stuff without first paying hommage to the glorious Lukas Rossi. Thanks to him I am having an unexpectedly beautiful day. I like to get my own way, after all I am the baby of my family (by 14 years), completely spoiled and quite possibly could be considered 'high maintenance'. I did + Lukas won. Having being utterly addicted to Rockstar I would have taken anyone else winning very personally. Thanks to him my morning is shaping up well despite the following setbacks:
1. I woke up late so youngest son also woke up late. I looked like a bag of cats as I hadn't washed my hair and just put on what I was wearing yesterday in order to avoid driving to school in my pyjamas.
2. I was almost home when school phoned to say he had forgotten all his swimming togs so I had to come home and then go back to school with said paraphernalia.
3. I have really bad sinusitis which I am attributing to the haze we have had here for the last 5 weeks ( I am deluding myself here, I get sinusitis because I smoke too much + have 4 cats to whom I am allergic + the entire English side of my family have sinus problems ...)
4. I have no cash.
Normally these minor irritations would see me swearing my way along the Bukit Kiara freeway having slammed every door in my house. Not today ... I am a paragon of Zen.
So thanks Lukas.
Thanks also to my big sis who is arriving tomorrow - I am beyond excited.

The Dandy Warhols

2006-09-14T12:50:00.000+08:00

Bohemian Like You - my song of the day

and I feel wahoo, wooo

Credit

2006-09-14T12:11:00.000+08:00

I have had a credit card since I was 18. I first used it in 1983 to purchase a rather fabulous black flamenco skirt in Miss Selfridge in Liverpool.It cost 20 quid. I was in my first year at university and said skirt saw me through a multitude of interesting experiences and along with my Cafe Society black baseball jacket became one of my most loved items of clothing. After my initial hesitation at going down the credit route I became a very proficient card user and remained so for many years. My Malaysian experience has lessened by enthusiasm for all things retail but I enjoyed the security that having a card gave me. Options.I can use it if I choose to and feel very virtuous when I don't. I can book a flight and go home at a moments notice. I could run off to Argentina if I wanted to. I could buy a Moto Guzzi Breva V 750 I.E. if I felt like it( + the card was empty and they increased my credit limit) Options. Until Tuesday when I had to sacrifice it in the name of motherly devotion. My son is off to Brazil on a football scholarship in a month, Costa Rica and Nicaragua in February, probably the US in the summer and University next September. For his sense of security and ours he needs a credit card, just in case ... A complication of expat life is that for now, at least, he can't get his own and as we can only have 2 cards from the account and the account is in my husband's name mine has to go.When push comes to shove there is nothing that I won't give up for the boys, but I have to admit to feeling more than a little put out. I have accepted that as it was my decision to give up my job + the work permit that came with it, I cannot complain about being here on a dependent visa - though I frequently do, but the loss of aforementioned card seemed a step to far in the independence department. I told my mother, who by being understanding made me feel better and decided to get over it.
I shall be liberated from the tyrannies of credit thus also removing guilt from my lexicon.

Colour

2006-09-14T09:31:00.000+08:00

My confusion post prompted a flurry of activity. Maybe not a flurry exactly, but after having written it I learnt 3 things that it would be helpful to remember:
1. DON'T faf about with the posts after they have been published - spent several hours trying to fix the mess I made of my page as a result of doing just that.
2. Read the instructions that come with my digital camera and import the photos before writing the text, thus ensuring that I don't delete the htlm code.
3. Don't go down the blending in road, there is no need to.

So some lessons learnt. I can now, more or less successfully, place pictures of whatever I fancy. I can also look at myself in the mirror and recognise my reflection. My hair is restored to it's former colourful glory,the blonde now making room for purple, electric blue and red.
A good friend asked me was I blogging in order to be read or just for myself. For myself and it's having a wierdly motivational effect.

King Monkey

2006-09-14T08:47:00.000+08:00

Ian Brown - king of the Mancunian castle, mellow in the coolest possible way.

Code

2006-09-13T08:58:00.000+08:00

" It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees"

Emiliano Zapata 1879 - 1919 + a line from a very cool Redskins song

Fac 93A

2006-09-13T08:52:00.000+08:00

Confusion - New Order

2006-09-12T11:10:00.000+08:00

I have had a confusing year.
Many of the constants in my life have changed - I quit my job (I think a wise decision but one that has left me at a loss as to what to do next) + my eldest son graduated from school and turned 18(I have struggled with the fact that I have a child who is an adult and had to come to terms with the feeling that I cannot protect him now in the same way )
I decided that my best way to handle these changes, and others that I will not discuss here, was to just be. Not to plan, not to worry about my purpose in life, not to feel inadequate, just settle into it and see what comes. I have read constantly and, to a certain extent, hibernated. I have enjoyed the anonymity that my new blonde hair has given me( a radical departure from purple and, on reflection, not necessarily a positive step) and let myself fade into the background. Isolation has proved quite therapeutic.
I have an overwhelming feeling that still more changes are on the way.
I feel, though, that the time has come to institute some changes over which I do have control.
My first goal is to remove the following words and phrases from my lexicon - have to, need to, ought to, must and should, in the process doing away with expectation, compunction, failure and regret.
I am giving myself a week to see what impact such a simple linguistic change will have but I have no doubt that it will be a positive one.

Lithium

2006-09-12T11:05:00.000+08:00

One of the upsides of being positively addicted to Rockstar Supernova is that I have been reintroduced to several songs that I love but over time have forgotten. I shall randomly post them here so I do not forget them again.

Lithium - Nirvana

I love this song.

Homework v Moto GP

2006-09-11T09:28:00.000+08:00

The only sport I truly love to watch is football. I am a lifelong Evertonian and have spent many happy/miserable/cold/wet/bad tempered Saturday afternoons screaming on the terraces of Goodison Park and in the stands of Ewood Park, home of Blackburn Rovers. The World Cup and FA Cup have provided the backdrop for some of the most important events of my life - my father died at the exact moment that Everton scored their first goal against Watford in the 1984 FA Cup final. Unable to watch the match (his doctor deemed that the excitement would be too much for his already damaged heart) he was sitting in the garden in his favourite spot after having enjoyed a clandestine roll-up. Everton scored and in that moment he moved on joyfully.

Apart from my boys, nothing inflamed my passion quite like footy until I discovered Moto GP. A visit to the Malaysian Grand Prix at Sepang was demanded and I looked forward to seeing Sig. Rossi in the flesh and pretending to be a true biker chick(in truth, if I sit on the back of my husband's bike my feet don't touch the floor so the chances of my acquiring a Breva are slim ...)
The Moto GP took place, Valentino Rossi won, Loris Capirossi came 2nd and Dani Pedrosa 3rd without the benefit of my attendance. I caught the presentation on the podium, the Italian national anthem and the Champagne spraying on my TV at home - livid.
Why did I miss it? Homework.
In terms of things that annoy me homework is up there with China. I HATE it with a passion and resent the intrusion into my children's homelife. I can, at best, tolerate it IF it is meaningful. Reading for my little one is fine and the odd bit of spelling is OK - last year I put my foot down and, on his behalf, told his Grade 1 teacher that we would not be doing the weekly homework packet as I disapproved of it. That was fine with her and he had a happy homework free year. He, happily, does not get homework on Fridays and can stay in his pyjamas, cuddle his cat and indulge his passions freely all weekend. As my eldest has graduated he can devote his weekends to the pursuit of the body beautiful and his beloved goalkeeping.
This leaves my middle son - Finbarr. Life is hard enough as a middle child - he has been nurtured in the same way as his brothers but comes with a full on victim complex. His life is complicated by being 12, hormonal, not having grown for a year(thus, his 7 year old brother is only a head shorter), being left handed (not a problem in itself - I think it's cool), eccentric and naturally stroppy. To add to this he had the misfortune to be off sick for a week - really sick not malingering. So he ended up drowning in homework this weekend in order to catch up on everything that needed to be done by today. Left to his own devices, like his father, he cannot organize his way out of a paper bag so the choice was help him sort himself out and catch up or abandon him to his fate and head to Sepang. Middle son v Valentino Rossi.
Choice? I think not.
I, in a moment of uncharacteristic graciousness, told my husband that he could go and I would supervise the grand homeworkathon. He declined so we both missed out but Finbarr did indeed do all his homework - mostly meaningless and utterley irrelevant busywork( kudos to his Maths, Spanish + Science teachers who we love for never giving work that falls into the aforementioned category).
I could go on indefinately about my views on homework, both as a teacher and parent, but I won't as I will just reignite my ire. Having commited this tragic incident to the blogosphere I will let it go.

The Mighty Everton

2006-09-11T09:21:00.000+08:00

I have just spent 1 hour trying to work out how to post ... I was using the wrong user name and almost reached the throw the computer through the window into the pool stage when I worked out how to do it.
So I will remind myself of the highlight of my weekend - the Merseyside derby.

Saturday 9 September 2006 at Goodison Park, Liverpool

EVERTON 3 - LIVERPOOL 0

Glorious.

Pleasure - Part 2

2006-08-18T12:49:00.000+08:00

Making a list of what pleases me has put me in such a jolly mood that I thought I would continue. I am also enjoying the fact that as nobody is reading this I don't need to concern myself about appearing shallow, inarticulate or plain stupid. I seem to have lost the ability to spell properly along with my desire to shop!

Rockstar Supernova
Patsy and her tall tales
Being a vegetarian(had to look that up in the dictionary)
Pascale
Making blue and green cakes with the boys
This blogging lark - very cathartic
The fact that Michelle always calls me 'dear'
Hex (sad I know, but there is something very comforting about watching truly awful TV from your own country)
My mother's Irish accent despite the fact that she has lived in England for 68 years
The fact that my mother, at the age of 85, would still batter anyone who upsets me
The fact that, in so many ways, I am very like my mother except not quite at fierce

To be continued ...

Pleasure

2006-08-18T11:56:00.000+08:00

Have been musing recently about what gives me pleasure these days. Retail therapy has lost it's attraction and the longer I live in this city the less materialistic I am becoming. This will come as a shock to my family and long term friends - I am famed for my ability to pick the most expensive item in any shop, for never looking at the price tag and particular shopping trips have become the stuff of family legends( remember the loaf of bread trip in Aberdeen?). How did this happen? Maturity? Awakening? Boredom? Apathy? Have I lost my mojo?

So ... shopping doesn't do it anymore. A fact that makes me truly happy. Here are some random things that do - in no particular order.

Waking up to sunshine every day
The fact that I can see trees from every window in this house
My morning coffee in my favourite cup
My children(naturally)
My 3 boys sitting on the sofa watching The Simpsons
The woodpecker that sits on the wall behind the pool
The way my kittens sleep with their paws around eachother
The way my children look when they are asleep
My dog, Greta Garbo
Chaos, the way his whole body moves when he wags his tale
Turning up the stero in my car so loud that the car vibrates
The blogs that my friends write(Jabiz, Dave and Mel)
The fact that Rose brought me coloured hairspray from the US (blue, pink, blonde and gold)
My friend Nicky - each and every time I talk to her
Emails from Mel
Books in general
Books on Attila the Hun and Genghis Khan
Sharing what I have read with Finbarr and his constant quest for knowledge
The texts that my sister sends me and the terms of endearment that she uses
Teddy dancing
Fergus and his senior moments
My relationship with Ben

Life is good.

Invisible Monsters

2006-08-18T11:22:00.000+08:00

I had great trouble finding a name for this blog. I wanted Invisible Monsters, the title of one of my favourite Chuck Palahniuk books, but I couldn't have it so I have settled on Puan besar. For anyone not fluent in Malay Puan besar means 'big lady boss'. In my household I attempt to exert my authority by telling my children, dogs and cats that I am indeed the boss but my children equate power with earning potential so in that respect, as a teacher(temporarily/maybe permanently retired) I am way down in the pecking order. I have also, to my horror, discovered that they equate intelligence with earning power and thus judge their father to be far more intelligent than I .... the joys of living in an all male household .... I petulantly point out to them that I, in fact, am the most academically qualified member of the house ... feeble, eh?
I have created this blog for me. I will use it as a dumping ground in the hope that I will be able to clear out my seriously overcrowded mind. I read too much (is that possible?) and think too much and am in iminent danger of becoming an insomniac like my fabulous big sis. Mid life crisis is another possibility - as mentioned frequently by my soon to be 18 year old son.
So for now I will not send the link or share my ramblings with my family and friends. I shall muse as incoherently and neurotically as I fancy in anonymous isolation.